Rip's Domain

BASH Friday!!!!!!!

Posted in BASH!, Fridays, Jokes by rip747 on September 28, 2007

http://www.bash.org/?806380
http://www.bash.org/?806849
http://www.bash.org/?806855
http://www.bash.org/?808311
http://www.bash.org/?808383
http://www.bash.org/?808682
http://www.bash.org/?809027
http://www.bash.org/?809181
http://www.bash.org/?809302
http://www.bash.org/?12500
http://www.bash.org/?7194
http://www.bash.org/?9670
http://www.bash.org/?17334
http://www.bash.org/?51313
http://www.bash.org/?56258
http://www.bash.org/?71442
http://www.bash.org/?73081
http://www.bash.org/?146822
http://www.bash.org/?221090
http://www.bash.org/?454094
http://www.bash.org/?458436
http://www.bash.org/?485105

UPDATE: Blast from the past

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SQL Server 2005 sucks so far.

Posted in Rants, SQL by rip747 on September 26, 2007

I finally had to take the plunge into SQL Server 2005 since HostMySite only offers 2005 and not 2000 on their VPS plans. Needless to say I’ve heard nothing good about 2005. I’ve talked to countless DBAs telling me that it’s dog slow and EXTREMELY clunky to use. Well I’ve come to the conclusion that they are right.

Mind you I’m just now getting into it, but already I found 2 gotcha.

First off the Script Generator sucks. The interface is so horrible, I feel like I’m programming in Visual Basic with the way you have to choose your options. Not to mention that thing is SLOOOOOOW. It took 3 times as long to generate scripts for my database as Enterprise Manager did. The big kick in the nuts is that it doesn’t write the script correctly! The old 2000 script generator would write the scripts for the tables first and then the scripts for all your views next. Not 2005’s, it intermingled the tables and views scripts so if a view has a table in it that hasn’t been created yet… it FAILS!!! Is that fucking stupid or what!?! The only way around this is to generate and run the scripts for your tables first and then generate and run the scripts for your views. Great, so not only do I have to wait longer, I have to do double the work as well. Thanks Bill!

Second thing I found was another speed issue. I don’t know how many of you have ever used the import / export wizard in Enterprise Manager; I use to use it all the time and it was a life saver. Well needless to say now in 2005 the import / export process takes a loooooooooooooong time…… I’m talking long like the Nile, like line at Domino’s in a fat camp, long like John Holmes! I couldn’t believe something that use to take 30 seconds before took 10 minutes. Thank God I only have to do that once in a while.

My other gripe is the Management Studio in general. Why Microsoft now feels that everything should look like Visual Studio is beyond me. Enterprise Manager (though ugly as hell) was very clean and uncluttered, compare to Management Studio which looks really slick but a total mess when it come to finding things.

I guess I just need sometime to figure everything out. I’m sure I’ll find other quirky things along the way in my journey and if I do I’ll post them.

UPDATE: I was about to rip Angus (see comments below) a new one when it kinda dawned on me that I never checked what service level SQL Server 2005 was on. I guess I just assumed that it would be at the latest level since it’s a VPS and HostMySite applies the upgrades to the VPS. Well let me fall on my sword by saying that I checked late last night and I was wrong. SQL Server was at SP1 not SP2. I tried installing SP2 and it wouldn’t let me, so now I have a ticket opened with HostMySite to see if I can get it updated to SP2. I’ll post something about my new experience with SQL Server 2005 once SP2 is installed.

My tips for keeping weight off.

Posted in Rants by rip747 on September 23, 2007

Bottom line, I was a fat bastard. At one point about 5 years ago, I weighed in at a staggering 210 lbs! Now I know that some will say that that isn’t heavy, but when you’re only 5″3′, yeah… it shows

You’ve all heard me say that I lost all the weight doing yoga on numerous blog posts, but the fact that I’ve kept the weight off for the last 5 years is a very big accomplishment for me. Really the only thing I need to do is to get my yoga body back and I’ll be set.

So the real question is, how the hell have I not put back on the 60 lbs I lost over the last 5 years? Well, here are my tips to losing weight and keeping it off. They aren’t ground breaking or anything like that and I’m sure you’re heard them before, but here they are none the less.

1) Eat smaller meals.

There was a time when I would eat 6 slices of pizza in a sitting. Today I can hardly put down 2 without yooking. Basically what I did was shrink my stomach. The easy way to do this to eat smaller portions and eat them often, at first, so you don’t feel the urge to over eat. A great way to do this is to cut your meals in half. Instead of two scoops of mashed potatoes, eat one. Instead of 4 slices of pizza eat two. The biggest hurdle that most people have though is when they go out to eat. They feel that they need to eat everything on there plate. Hey, I know this feeling, I still have it. But there is a way to satisfy that mental block and still eat less. The trick is to get a to-go container at the beginning of your meal or when your meal comes to the table. Just take half of your meal and place it in the to-go container. Then put the container in the bag and place it under the table, out of sight, out of mind. Best part is, you have lunch for the next day!

2) Eat slowly.

A chef friend of mine once told me, “Dude, enjoy your food.” Why we all feel that we need to wolf down our meals is beyond me, but 75% of the population doesn’t it. A great way to slow down your eating to strike up a conversation; be social with the other people at the table. During the conversation, make sure you’re not talking with food in your mouth and put down your fork and knife. Give yourself these little breaks to allow the food that you’ve been ingesting time to digest. Because you’re doing this, you’ll feel fuller faster and on less food!

3) Drink while eating

Ever get full from just drinking water or soda? I’m sure you have. Basically by putting liquids into your body during your meal, you’ll eat less since the liquids and the food will fill you stomach faster. Also make sure that the liquid you’re drinking is either water, or diet something. There’s no sense in replacing the food calories with calories from soda or alcohol. I usually have my famous drink: cranberry and club soda. A very refreshing and low calorie drink. And on that point:

4) Cut out the non-diet soda and alcohol

Learn to like water. Why in the world would you want to drink a coke that has almost 200 calories in a single 16 oz can, when 16 ounces of water has no calories. If you really are a soda drinker, drink the diet stuff so you can still enjoy the soda but eliminate the calories. I know that a lot of people hate the taste of diet soda, so luckily today there are other substitutes for your favorites drink: coke has coke zero you know. Cranberry and club soda (or any fruit juice with club soda) is a great substitute for an alcoholic beverage. Not only doesn’t taste great, but everyone at the party will think your drinking a mixed drink like vodka and cranberry!

Now this doesn’t mean I’m one of those people who doesn’t drink (LORD knows I can put them down when I want), but I’m not the kind of person that drinks everyday. Usually I drink about 4 times month, if that. Yeah I like to have a couple of cocktails when I go out, it just means I don’t come home from work and start hitting the sauce. Also, one last thing about the cranberry and club soda: it’s an excellent way to get sober or prevent yourself from getting drunk. Just have one cranberry and club soda for every drink you have and it will prevent you from getting dehydrated. Not to mention that the cranberry juice make you piss like a race horse, so the alcohol doesn’t linger in your body.

5) Avoid the dairy

Nothing has more fat per serving then diary products. I’m not talking about yogurt and cottage cheese, I’m talking regular cheese, sour cream, creams and what not. Sure a lot of them have the non-fat and low fat version, but less face it, they taste like shit. So why even bother to eat something that will taste like shit, just avoid it all together. Trust me on this, your heart will thank you.

6) Put your napkin on you plate when you feel you’ve had enough.

This sound dumb as hell, but works for me. I don’t know how people can take a rolled up napkin and put it on there plate and continue to eat off it; it grosses me out. Whenever I feel slightly full, I throw my napkin over my plate. The thinking is, I’m not going to pick my napkin up and start eating again, no way in hell. By doing this, I basically stop eating all together and it tells my mind that I’m done eating.

Like I said, they’re not the latest breaking secrets in the world of trying to eat less and I’m sure you’ve heard them before. But how many of you actually do any of the things mentioned above. I could bet not many.


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BASH Friday!!!!!

Posted in BASH!, Fridays, Jokes by rip747 on September 21, 2007

How poeple are finding my blog. 621 views a new record!

Posted in Jokes by rip747 on September 20, 2007

I think it was Ben Nadel who was shocked as to how people were finding his blog through the searches they performed.

Since my blog had a new all time record for page views for the day, I thought that I would look to see what people search for to find my blog. Needless to say I was a little surprised.

jquery cheat sheet 9
cffile accept jpg 4
jquery rating 3
a friend 3
cfdocument 3
funny ferrets 3
FERRET 2
did tony die 2
cfdocument date time 2
mortgage industry jokes 2
Zombie Last Supper 2
swapit jquery 2
coldfusion sql get colum names 2

Seems I got a WIIIIIDE spread here…. lots of jQuery and ColdFusion stuff; but mortgage information and ferrets! I feel honored and for such and honor; the picture that started it all:

Happy Easter!

ColdFusion is not Java. UPDATE.

Posted in ColdFusion, Rants by rip747 on September 18, 2007

Yeah, that didn’t go over to well, however, I expected that. I knew I was going to get burned at the stake the second the post went live. I’ve been avoiding reading or replying back to any of the comments until now. Mainly because I didn’t want to get into a pissing contest with anyone over an opinion I had.

Alas, there are some people who feel I should defend my opinion and to that, I have this to say to them:

Installing Verity on HMS VPS

Posted in ColdFusion, TechSupport by rip747 on September 14, 2007

Just a quick note.

When you sign up for a HostMySite VPS plan, for some odd reason the Verity Search Service isn’t installed by default. To install the service, simply open Windows Explorer and browse to your C:\ColdFusion8\verity directory. Once there double click the verity-install.bat file and away you go.

You don’t have to waste your time trying the download the install from Adobe since frankly, the downloader is timing out and you can’t do it aways :P.

ColdFusion is not Java.

Posted in ColdFusion by rip747 on September 14, 2007

Maybe I just didn’t have the balls to be the first to say it. Derek’s post has inspired me and at risk of being flamed and hated (again), I want to go on record with my opinion.

Little background. About 3 months ago I got a side gig to create a web site for my friend’s company. Now I had a while to do this job since there was really no rush. During this time I was really drinking the kool-aid with all of the kewl frameworks and design pattern ideas out there and wanted to try to incorporate at least one of them into this project. At the time I figured that if I could utilize these it would make my life easier when it was time to start maintaining the code and added features.

With that I started looking and planning. I already had an code generator to handle the CRUD crap, so all I really needed was something to tie all my logic together. With that I looked at using an MVC framework since most are very mature frameworks and widely used.

So I download the framework and start playing and playing and researching and reading and posting to the forums. There were a lot of hurdles to get over and thankfully the framework’s community was extremely helpful and they really did guide me through the many pitfalls I got myself into.

However something didn’t feel right. Here I was now a month into the project and I was still struggling with all the framework’s logic and design patterns. All this stuff was really slowing me down, way down. I knew that it would take sometime to get the feel for everything but here I was 4 weeks into the project and had yet to complete the administrative backend to it. Now granted, I can only work at night for about 3 hours, but still, I should have been done with this thing by now, well at least the backend (Side note: please don’t bring up scaffolding. Hate to break it to ya, but scaffolding doesn’t fit the bill for everything).

I got really frustrated and decided to scrap the whole thing and threw it out the door and didn’t touch the project for the next 2 months, it went completely out of my mind.

Last Thursday my friend calls me and tell me that the project needs to be up and running on Monday. I panicked, I had totally forgotten about the project and literally I was starting from scratch. On Friday I came home and stared at blank screen for about 15 minutes and then finally said, “Fuck It!”. I checked my own little custom built framework from SVN that I’ve been using for the past 3 years and started coding.

24 hours later I was done. Totally done… backend, frontend, members section, it was all finished and ready for the client to look at. The whole site took me less than a weekend to do.

What was the point of that story? The point was to demonstrate how I got caught up in the latest and greatest design pattern hype and paid for it.

For so long I’ve been reading posts by people about using all this crazy crap to try to build a web site and I’ve been biting my tongue, saying to myself, “Are these people fucking nuts?”. Why is it that ColdFusion programmers feel the need that if we’re not using a MVC framework, IOC, Service Layers, Transfer Objects, Business Objects or the 15 million other design pattern ideas that you could throw into the mix, we’re doing our projects wrong and they’re destine to fail and be hard to maintain.

Why do we put ColdFusion in the same area as Java? Further even, what makes us think that we need or even should use the design patterns written for Java? I’ll tell you why, because you and I feel that since ColdFusion sits on top of Java, that ColdFusion is Java. We’ve been fed that bullshit for so long that we can’t stop believing it.

ColdFusion is not Java. It is an abstraction layer of Java for programming web sites and hiding Java’s complexities… period, the end. It’s not an enterprise level language like Java and .Net are, yes it can work with both, but that doesn’t make it an enterprise level language. Because ColdFusion is a abstraction layer of Java, you can take the ColdFusion markup and smack on top of another language, say .Net (What do you think BlueDragon is, the ColdFusion markup on top of .Net). A better analogy for describing what ColdFusion is, would be to say that ColdFusion is like jQuery. jQuery is an abstraction layer of JavaScript, it make JavaScript easier by hiding it complexities. However, it’s very feasible that your could take the jQuery markup and ideas and put them on top of another language, say Python.

The design patterns that we’re all going crazy trying to utilize were written for enterprise level languages for a good reason. A lot of these enterprise level languages interface with many different systems and grab data from a variety of different places. As such Service Layers, IOC, Business Objects and numerous other design patterns were implemented because it does make it easier to manage and maintain. However that doesn’t mean that the web sites we write warrant the use of all or any of these ideas into it, nor should we feel that we have to be implementing these ideas into our web sites.

In closing, remember that ColdFusion was built to hide the complexities of the Java language and make it faster and easier for us to work with. Why are we trying to bring those complexities back in is anyone’s guess.

BASH Friday!!!!

Posted in BASH!, Fridays, Jokes by rip747 on September 14, 2007