Open Source Comedy
Use in your next stand up routine if you want. Actual conversation with some more embellishing thrown in. Before you read, let me be the first to say that my comedy is offensive and down right rude. I’ll make fun of anyone and everyone at anytime. When it comes to laugh, everyone is fair game including myself. I’m not a racist, a sexist nor homophobic; I just love a good laugh. With that said, if you’re easily offended or can’t take a joke and see the humor in life… piss off.
So I go downstairs to visit a couple of friends. One of them is all pissed.
Me: Dude, what’s up with Bob? He’s all pissed.
Dave: Oh… Bob’s feeling betrayed.
Me to Dave: Betrayed? How the fuck does someone feel betrayed? What… did find out his boyfriend was throwing warm yogurt on back this whole time.
Dave: No man. He was helping someone on a project, things got fucked up and now the guy he was helping is putting the whole blame on him.
Me to Bob: Dude, you didn’t get betrayed. William Wallace was betrayed, you got fucked. So do yourself a favor… spackel some Preparation H on your crack, throw on a Tuck’s pad for good measure, pull up your pants and get over it.
Bob: Fuck you.