Rip's Domain

Russian Sleep Experiment: the best short story I’ve read.

Posted in Personal by rip747 on August 8, 2009

Don’t know who wrote this or where it came from. My brother emailed me a link to it and I was completely immersed in it. Kudos to the author. If you know the author or any other works by this person, please leave me links in the comments, I would love to read more from this person.


Fun Facts about this post:

It has generated over 500,000 views since 08/09/2009!

It usually gets between 300 – 800 views a day!

Biggest day was over 28,000 views!

Was the #1 link on Google for Russian Sleep Experiment!

However, I’ve decided to no longer host the story on my blog as I’d rather give the traffic to a most deserving site where you can find other fun stuff to read.ย 

Read The Russian Sleep Experimentย and other creepy stuff over at the Creepy Pasta Wiki!


165 Responses

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  1. conor said, on August 10, 2009 at 2:11 am

    I really, really need to know who wrote this. Freaking fascinating.

  2. Charles Petruzzi said, on August 10, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    Tony, you bastard! I had that story set to post on 9/12 and you beat me to it! But, I found a text version of the story instead of the shitty PIC version I sent you, so ๐Ÿ˜›

  3. Charles Petruzzi said, on August 10, 2009 at 9:37 pm

    WTF! I made a smiley with it’s tongue sticking out and WordPress has this happy-go-lucky prick smiley in my last post. Hey WordPress…fix your smiley feature in the comments so they come out right…you lazy pricks!

    In case anyone is reading this thinking I’m pissed at my brother…well, I’m just screwing around.

  4. ^^ said, on August 18, 2009 at 6:57 am

    It’s from the imageboard Paranormal – /x/, =)

    But, be careful, there are creepy pictures, stories, and many other things…

    Sorry for my bad english -_-

  5. anon said, on August 23, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    I was there when anon wrote that. I saved it too. ๐Ÿ˜€

  6. Anon said, on August 23, 2009 at 9:43 pm

    Hey, guy above me. Fuck you.
    Remember rules one and two, alright?

  7. Kevin said, on August 24, 2009 at 1:29 am

    ….. this really isn’t good at all…. The dialogue and descriptions lack any sort of depth, and there’s no substance to the plot. It’s trite, cheap, cliched, and overall just a terrible piece of writing (though I’m even reluctant to call it that).

  8. Keegan said, on August 24, 2009 at 2:03 am

    Nietzsche made a similar claim for society as a whole and the origin of a “bad consciousness;” “the stress of the most fundamental change man ever experienced occurred when he found himself finally enclosed within the walls of society and peace” (GM II. 16).

  9. Hark said, on August 24, 2009 at 2:30 am

    sick bastard =S, there’s nothing neither artisty or cool about this, there’s a million other ways to say what he wanted to say, this is just disgusting and nauseating

  10. SVT said, on August 24, 2009 at 2:54 am

    ๐Ÿ˜› is the correct smiley… It’s supposed to look like a dude sticking out his tongue, but it fails.

    Sick story! :O

  11. A.K. said, on August 24, 2009 at 2:55 am

    This reminds me of the Stanford Prison experiment

    Also reminds me of the movie “Das Experiment”.

    Really interesting story. Makes you think about the power and corruption people hold in society.

  12. Mad Scientist said, on August 24, 2009 at 3:41 am

    Very nice article indeed. As stated, I also want to know the author to prove the validity of the events that happened.

    If it isn’t true, I would perform the same experiment and this time document it with video camera so that we can see the behavior of the subjects. If the subject started to perform odd behavior, restrain them immediately then continue the experiment until having high amounts of oxygen.

    This research has a lot of potential of making super suicide soldiers. Release them behind enemy lines and wreck havoc.

  13. Nink said, on August 24, 2009 at 3:43 am

    Um… they had EEG monitors in the 1940s? Other than that, nice story.

  14. veronica said, on August 24, 2009 at 3:49 am

    -.= that was dissapointing… anti-climatic. oh well…. good try author-man ^o^ was this for a school writing competition?

  15. kyle said, on August 24, 2009 at 4:00 am

    Is this story a load of crap?
    Cos if it isnt its bloody scary

  16. morgan said, on August 24, 2009 at 4:12 am

    you need to read some better stories…
    i’m going to have nightmares for sure

  17. hashboy said, on August 24, 2009 at 5:04 am

    the author is JG Ballard, me thinks

  18. wormcat said, on August 24, 2009 at 6:29 am

    lol lame. i don’t get what about this is allegedly so amazing. it is just several paragraphs of gratuitous gore with no real plot or point at all. i almost thought they were going to come to some sort of conclusion for a second there at the end- after the one test subject was shown to have died from falling asleep- but then the last survivor ended up just blurting some meaningless, pseudo-profound prosey bullshit. yeah, we get it: there’s a bad man in all of us; we all have a dark side. tysm, 4chan, for that riveting development in the study of human nature. the least the author could have done was write something halfway believable. honestly- what person who has gone insane from a lack of sleep, an overdose of oxygen, extended exposure to a clearly dangerous experimental chemical, and (oh yeah) RIPPING OUT HIS OWN FREAKIN’ GUTS has the intellectual capacity left to spout off some ‘i am the evil in you’ moral lesson? i can’t even think of a sane, healthy person who would say something like that. not to mention it was just plain poorly written.

    even disregarding all of the obvious literary reasons that this ‘story’ is completely awful, there is the one big REAL-moral-lesson reason: there really should be no entertainment to be had in observing other human beings in unfathomable suffering, especially if there’s not even a good point being demonstrated through it. how is a reasonable person just loving on the (literally) gut-wrenching pain of other (even imaginary) people? i mean really- i didn’t know charles manson posted here.

    in conclusion, terrible terrible terrible. some wanna-be chuck palahniuk cockery, sry2say. if you want quality gothic literature, look into norman mailer or aldous huxley. even faulkner could do the job, if this is the sort of thing you’re into.

  19. i stole the internets said, on August 24, 2009 at 6:55 am

    Veeery creepy story. Seemed like it started to degenerate into targeted drama towards the end, but it was still compelling reading.

  20. Nitpicker SOB said, on August 24, 2009 at 7:50 am

    A test subject suddenly appears mid narration. There is the one early death. Then the one who bleeds out. Then the one who dies on the operation table. And there are still three to be put back on the chamber… from the original 5.
    I think the mystery here is where did the mysterious extra test subject came from… maybe from another dimension?

  21. onceuponatime said, on August 24, 2009 at 8:08 am

    Awesome story!

  22. Andreas said, on August 24, 2009 at 8:54 am

    Cute story. Would’ve been better if it was actually true. As it stands it’s only a piece of semi-interesting fiction, with a few factual errors (KGB wasn’t founded until 1954).

    I am still trying to find out what the author is trying to tell us with this piece…

  23. stumblin... said, on August 24, 2009 at 9:12 am

    I have just read this entire story waiting for what I expected to be a pretty freakin awesome ending, only to be left scratching my chin. Did I miss something? Can someone explain to me…? What are they?

  24. rip747 said, on August 24, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    Holy hell! I got stumbled! Thanks to whoever posted this entry to StumbleUpon, you made my year. As of this comment, I’ve received over 23,000 visits from you guys. Enjoy the story!

  25. waldo said, on August 24, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    someone should turn this into a movie! great story and if it is true the goverment should round up all smackheads and give it to them save the tax payer a fortune on methadone projects

  26. Irvine Black said, on August 24, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    It was pretty interesting, and I didn’t see any slight resemblance to Chuck Palahniuk, so I dunno where the hell that accusation came from. The ending was bad, clichรฉd, and didn’t make any sense as part of the rest of the story, but up until then I quite enjoyed it.

  27. john said, on August 24, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    that was fucked up

  28. Charles (Tony's Brother) said, on August 24, 2009 at 8:17 pm

    Thank you for the link bro! Damn, you would think that you would have done that sooner since I gave you something that got you 20K+ hits to your site. Just kidding. Oh, you owe me a beer <–Not kidding about that ๐Ÿ™‚

  29. Scott said, on August 24, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    This story is crap. I’m gonna go watch Pootie Tang

  30. rip747 said, on August 24, 2009 at 9:10 pm

    update: as of this comment this post has received 26,000 visits. i really appreciate everyone reading and (mostly) enjoying the story. this is just remarkable. my site was posted to digg and reddit and didn’t generate this amount of attention. thanks again charles for sending this to me and, yeah, you’re right, i should of linked to you sooner.

  31. Barbara said, on August 25, 2009 at 2:31 am

    Well, I forgot you had mentioned it was a story, so I read it as a historical document, a description of an actual experiment. And while I was surprised at the self-mutilization and formed several questions about it, I really had no problem accepting the information provided. I think it was very well-written and convincing. A little judicious editing would polish it up. I’m 65 and have been a voracious reader all my life, so I think you should value my opinion. Thanks for an entertaining story!

  32. Elizabeth said, on August 25, 2009 at 3:53 am

    I think the Chuck Palahniuk comment may be in reference to his book Haunted. At least that’s what I thought of when I read this story.

  33. Emma said, on August 25, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    what was the gas? a load of bolony if you ask me

  34. Name said, on August 25, 2009 at 6:26 pm

    This sounds like the chinese guy whose head exploded from playing chess. Or the, coincidentally, chinese referigerator manufacturers who wer shot for making unreliable refridgeorators.

    Now my life does not seem so hard.

  35. matt said, on August 25, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    damn you people are harsh.. i didn’t think it was that great of a story either, but it wasn’t that bad, jeez.. assholes lol

    my biggest criticism for it I guess is that the surviving guy explains the whole point of the story at the end.. its like you included the college kids thematic essay at the end lol. it doesn’t leave anything up to interpretation.

    if it wasn’t for that i think it would be a pretty cool story.. my suggestion is remove the part where the guy explains that he is the animal side of the human mind and stuff and just use some more vague type dialogue to insinuate that same message without saying it outright.

  36. johnnybev said, on August 26, 2009 at 1:46 am

    Immersive…only inasmuch as any grotesque scene inflames curiosity. Ultimately disappointing and vacuous, and leaves one feeling cheap and shortchanged (as after masturbating).

    Wormcat’s comment above is for me far more interesting than the story. I don’t understand wormcat’s ‘moral lesson’; there are countless examples of schadenfreude in literature, film and everyday life that all exploit the guilty pleasure of observing someone else’s suffering: Lucretius wrote about it in 50BC and he wasn’t the first or last to notice it. We LOVE hearing about the suffering of others, in extensive and inventive detail. The knowledge that it’s a fiction just takes away the guilt.

    So it’s undeniable that we do occasionally enjoy descriptions of human suffering (among many other things). Perhaps the question to wormcat is, are we morally responsible for our aesthetic reactions? Can you judge me one way or the other for finding something interesting, or uninteresting? Do I *decide* to think something is worth reading, or boring? Because only if there’s a decision involved can you judge me, surely? Or are you just saying you wish this kind of thing didn’t interest people? Because that’s hardly a moral issue, more of a personal taste thing…

    What do we make of something unpleasant (and shockingly unfeasible and badly written) that nevertheless interests us?

  37. ravishankar said, on August 26, 2009 at 9:14 am

    nice story..hmm…alfred hitchcock..

  38. Emma said, on August 26, 2009 at 12:02 pm

    I basically thought this story was brilliant. It kept me reading. Why pick out so many flaws in these things? In fairness, this story was good and shocking and different. Loved it. I’ve been telling everyone I know about it.

  39. fishface said, on August 26, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    This reads like someone decided to rehash the plot of Serenity only demonizing Russians. Poorly written too, as described above.

  40. Lovenia said, on August 26, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    Mad Scientist: I don’t think there’s any gas like the one in the story; however, without sleep, you die. You don’t turn crazy like this and rip yourself apart and have the ability to survive as long as you’re awake. Your body needs REM sleep, and, without it, you do go crazy, but you die shortly after.

    Johnnybev: I beg to differ. I hate hearing about the suffering of others. Why would I want them to suffer? And gory things like this, I hate it!

    * * *

    As for the story, I didn’t like it very much. I’m not into pointless gore and such, but then the end was really anti-climactic, cliche, and too obvious an attempt at trying to teach a lesson.

    As for not being able to stop reading, I think it’s anything but. I would have stopped, but I was falsely promised an amazing story.

  41. L said, on August 27, 2009 at 12:21 am

    so whats the mdeical explanation for why they started tearing themselves up and enjoying pain and needing to stay awake? not trying to ruin the story im just really interested if theres a legit explanation

  42. HST said, on August 27, 2009 at 11:27 am

    This story is complete rubbish. How could anyone think that it is in any way based on fact? Obviously, the author of this story knew nothing of the actual workings of the human body or medicine. “He was injected with more than ten times the human dose of a morphine derivative and still fought like a cornered animal”… really stellar writing. Just a lot of inflated nonsense.

    Even as a piece of FICTION this story is about as exciting as whale shit.

  43. Shandooga said, on August 27, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    Disturbing and plausible. An interesting read, though hard to recommend.

  44. FunBubbles said, on August 27, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    I could probably only truly appreciate this if I were into ICP and vampires and shit. I know where you can find this author, sitting alone in his room jacking off to Catcher in the Rye.
    You wanna scare people? Unplug from WoW and go out to some public place.
    I can see how this story is appealing and appreciated by so many people, because I just described so many people. Sorry folks, truth hurts.

  45. rainjazzed said, on August 27, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    The whole psychological aspect was quite interesting, and about the cruelty…. heard worse stories about the Armenian Genocide….

  46. seanmft said, on August 27, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    Sort of a cool idea…story is pretty dumb though. I’ve been through hellweek, so I was more or less kept awake for 5 days and I can tell you all that happens is that you get very stupid, you hallucinate, and don’t remember much afterward. I remember the instructors saying before break-out that they had to give us 90min on the 4th night or we risked permanent brain damage. I remember after it was over, I tried to call my mom to tell her I’d made it. I sat down, cell-phone in hand, and started to dial, then woke up with the phone on the floor. I went through the same process at least 5 or 6 times before I was actually able to complete the call.

  47. Erudite said, on August 28, 2009 at 2:25 am

    You must not read much.

    “So did the whispering to the microphones.”

    Lol, yeah its right up there with Kafka.

  48. Osama said, on August 28, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    i undoubtedly enjoyed the story, the writing was lustterfull and exciting i was glued till the end but i dont quite understand the moral of the story; what is the subject trying to say? who is he? fear, evil, darkness? please somebody tell me about it thankyou

  49. ....... said, on August 28, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    Is this story for real?

  50. sushi said, on August 29, 2009 at 4:51 am

    erm this piece isnt not supposed to please people. its art but art isnt aimed to be pleasant all the time.

    things i can comment about is… yes they tore their flesh apart but when a person does that he also damages the veins/arteries etc so its impossible to remain alive for so long… they’d die from hemorrhage. plus when the organs are laid out on the floor they’d dry out as quick as hours after exposure and they’d all rot to death.

    other than that itll sound right-out chilling.

  51. coops said, on August 29, 2009 at 5:37 am

    Excellent. I enjoyed it anyway.

  52. tom said, on August 29, 2009 at 7:53 am

    thumbs DOWN

  53. robb said, on August 29, 2009 at 9:59 am

    damn this is one creepy test.
    and one thing that really hurts, reading that tiny font for 5 mins.

  54. “We are you.” « Driveway Spotted said, on August 29, 2009 at 11:32 am

    […] read this?” That being said, StumbleUpon knows what I like, so when it presented me with this link, I couldn’t resist reading it in its […]

  55. The Dude Abides said, on August 29, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    First, LOL at those who think this is supposed to be true. A clear work of fiction.

    Second, some huge plot holes here. As I understand these stories, four of the test subjects somehow removed their own internal organs and spread them out across the floor. How could these test subjects then fight and kill several of their captors? As far as I know hand to hand combat is difficult if you have to drag your intestines around. At the very least they would get caught on stuff and slow any attacks down.

    And the end was pretty cheesy. Our evil animal nature? Please. Wouldn’t evil animals try and eat the OTHER test subjects, and not themselves?

  56. Asshat! said, on August 29, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    How did a guy who was doped up on gas, sleep deprived, and all around Fucked Up able to say “We are You…” and all that other bull shit he said.

    Story would’ve been believable, and just plain better without that part.

  57. Alex said, on August 29, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    Alright so most of you don’t get that it’s a short STORY.
    made up. Got it?

    So yes, the author skimped on some technical details. I dunno about you but I certainly couldn’t recite to you the date of the invention of the EEG monitor so don’t crap on him for that.

    And to whoever didn’t believe sleep deprivation can’t make someone go crazy, do some research. Sleep deprivation is a totrture method. Try it, you’ll go nuts.

  58. Gregor said, on August 29, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    Cool story bro!

  59. Dingo said, on August 29, 2009 at 10:27 pm

    Someone make a movie of this!

  60. Alex said, on August 30, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    Unless the chamber was a partial vacuum this is impossible. Exposed lungs collapse.

  61. Anon said, on August 30, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    I was there when Anon wrote this and when he did The Good ending. Very nice anyway, love reading it every time! I smile when i get to the gore.

  62. sandra said, on August 30, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    i thought it started out great…but it began to wilt towards the end. impressive but eventually disappointing

  63. Anon said, on August 30, 2009 at 8:52 pm

    How in holy hell could anyone possibly think this is nonfiction? I don’t understand how anyone could have such a painful ignorance of the human body, honestly.

    It started out seeming like it could be plausible, but got increasingly bizarre and distractingly unrealistic.

    On a good note, it did manage to convince me for a while that I would finally learn the epic secret of how to create an awesome zombie.

    The ending was rather, shall we say, incongruous? It masqueraded as a moral but lacked any recognizable depth.

    My humble advice is that it should be made clear that this is utterly fiction to avoid that bewildering moment in the middle that those who aren’t anatomy-illiterate are bound to have while trying to reconcile the abrupt change from potentially-plausible to ‘excuse me, wtf?’, and to make the ending have actual relevance.

    With work, this could be a passable random internet nonsense story. Providing that the author will ever emerge from the depths of oblivion that is Anon.

  64. Poops Alot said, on August 31, 2009 at 9:14 pm

    good or bad, I read it all and enjoyed it.

  65. Anon said, on August 31, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    well i liked the story. but maybe we should really try it and video taped it (i know its been said before)

  66. Queen said, on September 1, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    WTF. This story is utter nonsense. Was it a high school assignment someone wrote to try and creep out a teacher or something? That’s the only plausible explanation I can come up with for this literary vomit. That there’s actually people who enjoyed this story really takes my hope for humanity down a notch.

    I understand the attraction to gore and human suffering. It’s part of the human psyche. But how is something so unorganized and clearly lacking in any literary decency to be enjoyed? It might as well just be a list of gory, shocking things one could think of being done to a human body. Just a list, not a story.

    The fact is that experiments like these have, and do happen. I’m disgusted by sick-minded individuals that get off on this stuff, whether fictional or non. Obviously events of the past should not be ignored, and should be learned about purely for educational and preventative reasons, NOT for pleasure.

    This world is evil and corrupted enough without having to fill our minds with such bile. But if you’re going to do it anyway, at least read something with some sort of literary sense and plot.

  67. SQUIIDUX said, on September 3, 2009 at 6:47 am

    I believe that the author has succeeded in invoking either praise or contempt for the story. Not all writing is about being accurate or being factually sound. It is a story. it was written to make you feel a certain way. If it even changed you for a second, then it was a success. Even if you didnt like the way it ended, he kept you hooked until the end, so you didnt hate it as much as you say.
    It reminds me a lot of American Psycho, by Bret Easton Ellis. If you havnt read that book, I would suggest it. Similarities include: Over the top gore, mixed with terror, invoking of disgust(I had to put American Psycho down several times to collect my thoughts.) That book and stories like this test what we think about writing. by saying it “sucked” or something similar you are being closed minded. It is on par with saying all drawings must contain straight lines. You need to take in the experience. If a story was supposed to make you feel bored, happy, sad or scared, you have to understand the authors intent and not simply dismiss it based on bias or favoritism.
    Thank you for posting this. as you can see it is around 0400, and i am on post in the US Marines and this story was exactly what i needed to make an otherwise boring, 24-hour, duty shift, memorable.
    Post Remarks: If anyone has more storys like this, post some links because that was great to read.

  68. Kay said, on September 3, 2009 at 10:52 am

    from johnnybev:
    “What do we make of something unpleasant (and shockingly unfeasible and badly written) that nevertheless interests us?”

    We discipline our minds. If you let a child indulge all his whims and wishes he turns into a spoiled brat, and later in life a self-centered potential sociopath who will hurt those around him without a thought if it means his own personal gain. We may have initial inclinations, but that doesn’t mean we have to indulge them. No, you do not have responsibility for your initial reaction, because we can’t control our brain’s first thought. You can control it after that, and have a moral obligation to. If you do something to me that makes me angry, I have two choices: I can indulge the anger continuously, until it becomes a rage, or I can choose to let it go. If it becomes a rage, I might murder you, or set fire to your house, or beat you senseless. “What a terrible thing to do!” you say. Well, that’s what comes from not controlling what comes out of our brains.

    Thank you, Queen. This story disgusted me as well, and the people who “loved it.” I came from Stumbleupon, and was promised a great story–I was expecting some kind of justifying ending or I would have stopped. I’m sick of this society reveling in gore. And we wonder why crime is on the rise. Fiction or not, glorified gore and crime and senseless violence lead to more gore and crime and senseless violence. A story being fiction does not remove the guilt of enjoying it. People enjoy the guilt too, the idea of liking something forbidden. That will leak over into real life, in small amounts or large ones. I guarantee it.

  69. evilhead said, on September 4, 2009 at 1:14 am

    The best short story you’ve ever read? Keep reading.

  70. Rod Sutherland said, on September 4, 2009 at 1:27 am

    Pretty ridiculous nonsense really. I think you’ve been playing half-life for too long or something.

  71. Jen said, on September 4, 2009 at 2:41 am

    You actually do go crazy if you lack enough sleep. Some DJ in Denmark (I think) went the world record (11 days, I think) and started to play the same music over and over again without realizing it.
    I thought that this was compelling, if it were true. As fiction it is very rehashed. Some actual studies that I’ve heard of are much more horrifying, when the human mind is considered. The gore is the only thing that made this interesting.
    The idea that of sedate into sleep is trite and glaringly obvious. This story could be believable if the writer actually researched how humans react to lack of sleep and included valid scientific knowledge.
    Overall, it is not believable and is decent internet fiction but compared to real literature, it doesn’t even hold a candle.

  72. wtf said, on September 5, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    short story?

    there’s no way i’m gonna read that.

  73. Jim said, on September 9, 2009 at 5:30 am

    At first, everything seems alright, hell they’re doing this to traitors…some of this does have a Non-Fiction side, those who go without sleep for a few days will begin to hallucinate, jibber jabber, and mutter complete nonsense… The autor obviously put a decent amount of work into this, and for people who read it, then decide to type a simple “Fuck You” letter should just click the tiny red X in the top right corner of the browser. Who wrote this did it so we could read it, and enjoy it. Which I did, now, if you assholes who call this crap, and blatantly insult it think you can do better, then by all means, write something up, I bet your ass you’ll be getting the same assholes spamming your page going “Wow, complete bullshit, blah blah blah so stupid, blah blah blah he fails so much at writing” Kudos to whoever wrote it, it certainly gripped me from begining to end. Yes I must agree it seemed the author lost a bit of steam near then end, but none the less, it is a very nice story.

  74. Zednine said, on September 13, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    If this was non-fiction it would be ghastly and compelling. As fiction it is trite and sensational.

  75. rhj said, on September 14, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    some details not plausible, but ya know, the US did a bit of this sort of thing, too-

    and the best short story ever is The Yellow Wallpaper.

  76. tjg said, on September 21, 2009 at 11:19 am

    i feel like not sleeping any more what about you guys

  77. Maddux said, on September 25, 2009 at 7:37 am

    It’s an interesting story to an extent, but the writing is absolutely horrible. And very cliche. I only read this because I heard how great it is. Figures it was someone on 4chan who wrote it.

  78. Anon said, on October 3, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    Rules are for newfags.

  79. jim said, on October 18, 2009 at 4:34 am

    I just read this high and i’m scared as hell right now.

  80. Mark said, on October 20, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    cliched and pointless.

    I don’t think anyone who’s read more than 15 “big kid” books in their life thinks this is good.

    bad writing, bad plot, bad ending.


  81. Gavin said, on October 29, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    You people have far too much free time.

  82. Unsatisfied said, on November 11, 2009 at 1:50 am

    It reads like a 10th grade English paper.

    To those that consider this good writing: READ. This doesn’t have the literary merit to be published in Highlights Magazine.

  83. ed said, on November 21, 2009 at 5:52 am

    I didn’t read this story, my friend told it to me and in that medium it was a lot more interesting. Sure there are inconsistencies and historical errors but its still entertaining. I have to agree with squiidux on almost everything they said. Christ some of you people are horribly whiney… Not that this comment makes me any better obviously.

  84. liamz said, on November 27, 2009 at 7:48 am

    I liked the story, but tbh the author could’ve left out the whole “We’re the evil within you”. It was way to long, and way to “descriptive” coming from a crazed halfdead corpse. It was sorta “forcing” a scenario onto the reader. Just the “so… Nearly… Free” would’ve been better IMO.

  85. ilm said, on December 24, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    ๐Ÿ˜› Epic fail
    This story gives me nightmares.

  86. sam said, on January 15, 2010 at 12:33 am

    im sorry but that was fucking dreadful

  87. Anthony said, on January 23, 2010 at 3:06 am

    The first 70-80% was great, really amazing. The last 30-20% killed it. I think that’s why there are so many negative comments. People got hooked on the first three quarters, then got a terrible ending and were angry about it.

    Terrible posts get no comments, not bad comments. There’s obviously something here, it just needs to be refined. The story was good, but the conclusion was so bad it ruined it. (I mean, really, throw up in your mouth bad.)

  88. Anthony Fabiano said, on February 18, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    Hello all: I am a media student at Ohio University and I am directing an adaptation of this short story. Once we have our website up, I will post the link for anyone interested.

  89. tj said, on March 4, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    this would make a wonderful movie, I think.
    I almost died from an overdose of cliche when I read the ending, but everything else was very interesting.

  90. ndg said, on March 7, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    Very silly. I get darker things than this free with my breakfast cereal.

    RE above: “This reads like someone decided to rehash the plot of Serenity only demonizing Russians.”

    Haha, win. Talking of Joss Whedon, there’s an episode of his series “Angel” called “Reprise” that does the whole “evil-within-everyone” thing much more intelligently than this, and without so much unnecessary gore.

  91. zach said, on April 14, 2010 at 7:22 pm

    HAVE YOU MADE IT YET Anthony Fabiano?

  92. vassavolk said, on April 14, 2010 at 9:54 pm

    lol i loved the story coz im russian and i love stupid stories, especially about russians ๐Ÿ˜€
    seriously, after reading it i wanted to give it a go and not sleep for as long as i can to get some sort of psychedelic effect but nah, i can always do that without dealing with the trouble of forcing myself not to sleep lol it would be better if you indicated where the captives were from so they could have a translator that lied and they later discovered that lie when they find the translator practicing some psychedelic shyt alone lol the way u described the chamber reminds me of a fucking ship lol next time u make a story please revice it with others and put more peoples ideas into it coz 2 brains are better than 1 and 4 better than 2 and so on…
    u should write a book dude or atleast some more freaky shyt.
    make a fucking movie for fucks sake, would be much better than the Saw series ๐Ÿ˜€
    well done son!

  93. fornes said, on April 15, 2010 at 11:52 am

    I haven’t read all the comments so I don’t know if anyone has pointed this out but there was no KGB until 1954. In the story the commanding officer of the experiment is ex-KGB but the story is set in the “late 1940’s”. There were other russian secret police organizations that would later pretty much become the KGB but they still weren’t around when the story supposedly took place. I guess this alone isn’t enough to completely dispel the story but it’s something to think about.

  94. fornes said, on April 15, 2010 at 11:53 am

    i think the story is fucking awesome by the way.

  95. nirav said, on April 19, 2010 at 11:08 pm

    it’s a great story and obviously fictional, and yeah there is a random test subject that appears out of nowhere halfway thru – but the ending just isn’t that great ๐Ÿ˜ฆ sorry dude that could have been really good if that last little monologue wasn’t there. but if anyone knows anything else by this guy i’d love to read it he/she’s got potential

  96. jw said, on April 24, 2010 at 1:35 am

    The lack of consistency about the number of characters was driving me crazy!
    “Russian researchers in the late 1940s kept FIVE people awake…They continued to whisper to the microphones until the second of the captives started to scream. The two non screaming captives…”
    Uhhhhm, 2+2=4, last time I checked.
    Same thing when it’s talking about the surgeries too.

  97. koobajew said, on April 26, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    i liked it, and good writing is subjective. If you want to argue, don’t, it is. without comments like the ones above there is enjoyment to be had in this story. If you left a nasty comment to this you really need to go out more, sitting and reading stuff like this only to critique it is just so painfully lame of you.

  98. Morgan said, on April 28, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    this needs to be turned into a movie!

  99. Morgan said, on April 28, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    This needs to be turned into a movie…like now!

  100. Anthony Fabiano said, on May 5, 2010 at 10:36 pm

    Actually Morgan we just finished wrapping an adaptation of this story. I directed the project with a crew of about thirty students and a budget of ten grand. It will premiere at Ohio University on June 6th. We used a soundstage to build the experiment and observation rooms, and we are currently a week from picture lock. The next phase is audio post. If anyone has any questions about our film send me an email

  101. Mary said, on May 24, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    Its not a short story it’s true this actually happened…..

  102. GRITS said, on June 6, 2010 at 12:10 am

    I found this story compelling. I won’t say that I liked or disliked it, but it was worth reading. I’m not afraid or disgusted by gore, but I’m not going to make stupid blanket statements about people who are.

    Being the kind of person who enjoys a really dark short story like this doesn’t make it easier to kill or gut things, even if it’s for your own survival. Quit pretending that it does.

  103. bob said, on June 6, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    sounds like someone just tried a short story version of huanted by chuck palanuik

  104. James said, on June 6, 2010 at 11:33 pm

    Cool to read….but I don’t get the point of it!

  105. Thought It was a True Story said, on June 9, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    I actually thought it was a true story until the second to last paragaph. Actually the last 4-5 paragraphs deviated too much.

    Would’ve been a cool true story.

  106. Katie said, on June 11, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    The HORRIBLE grammar stuck out more than any message. Just someone’s excuse to write a gruesome, violent story. But I guess he/she succeeded in his/her endeavors. We’re all talking about it…

  107. aaron said, on June 11, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    i really hope this is real

  108. Robyn said, on June 12, 2010 at 3:30 am

    Uggghhhh… So contrived and badly written.

  109. Dan said, on June 25, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    Though it really cant be a true story, it may as well have been the way it was written. The gas could probably be true in some sence, but the experiment probably is a load of crap.

    As to the last paragraph, it was said that the remaining test subject referred themselves to these scientists as “madness”. If you think about it, it does make sense. Madness drives people over the edge, and going 15 days with no sleep can do that. It causes the brain to start to freak out and wire different. The brain is now so used to being awake, a sudden change in that will cause death as it was stated when the subject was given anestetics (SP?). Imaginge being awake for that long, you would probably be going mad about then to.

    Now as to the it being badly written, anyone that said so is an idiot. If it was a badly written story, i wouldn’t have read it. Neither would you.

    Quote: Uggghhh… So contrived and badly written. – Robyn

    My question for you Robyn, if it was a badly written story, then why would you read it? Obviously it must have been good because you left a comment. However, you could’ve also not have given it a chance and just left a hate comment cause you have nothing better to do. Give this story a read again, without the expectation that it will suck, and let everyone know what you think.

    I thank you all for your time and have a good day!

  110. Dan said, on June 30, 2010 at 5:41 am

    Just re-read some of the comments, i got something for two of our lovely commenters!!

    Queen and SQUIIDUX, i will comment mainly on your gore and violence idea.

    Most people in society have something called “imagination”. When we cant do something in real life, we use this mytsic and wonderful thing to do it somewhere else. Thats why video games are around. Taking Need For Speed in to consideration; you cant really run into cops and stuff and not get into some serious trouble in real life, so why not do it in a game?

    Its the same thing as your gore concept. We are unable to witness or experiance things like this in real life, so we write it to express that imagination. I for one, like the idea about some dudes ripping out their intestines and stuff and then some. But its not because im some sick freak, it’s because i cant witness it in real life, i will witness it here with some image my brain can conjure up while reading this.

    SQIIDUX: You say that our society is running rampant with crime and violence because of stuff like this? You sir, are an idiot. Material like this is meant just for entertainment and is treated as such. Criminals and murderes do what they do because they ARE DUMB! They made their own choice to go out and kill someone or some crazy stuff like that. No one else had any influence over their decision.

    Overall here is my opinion on your hate comments: You two obviously dont take blood and gore to well. Keep your insecurities to yourselves. Noone wants to come here and read all the stupid comments left by people with no imagination because they think they are “Too old for it.”

    You, are what i like to call a modern day zombie; a rabid consumer that listens to only yourselves and everyone else is wrong.

    If you cant be open minded, then leave, find a different website to subscribe to, and dont come back.


  111. Dan said, on July 3, 2010 at 4:26 am


    SQUIIDUX, very sorry for putting your name there! I got you and Kay mixed! My mind was a little frazzled as it was like 2am. Once again very sorry.

    Replace SQUIIDUX with Kay!!!!!

  112. Dan said, on July 3, 2010 at 4:34 am

    Just realized i comment a lot to this…

    Anyways, FunBubbles, I did enjoy this. You wanna know why? I have an IMAGINATION!!!!!! I dont sit there and play WoW all day. Actually, i never play it at all. I go outside and hangout with friends.

    Now, demoralizing the author like you did was cruel. I thin that you should really do what i suggested for Kay and Queen. Find a different site to hate on, because i dont want to read it man.


  113. rip747 said, on July 3, 2010 at 8:04 am

    If you’d like i can edit your comment and make the updates you requested

  114. Lobster Johnson said, on July 5, 2010 at 2:23 am

    @Dan: You sure sound like a wow player. If you like the idea of people ripping their intestines out so much, then you should really, really, really try it sometime. For the sake of everyone, nerd. If you think it wasn’t badly written, what are you, twelve years old? This was so poorly written it makes Eragon look well-written (Referring to the book, by the way. Yes, it was a book before it was a movie. I know you probably didn’t know that, since you obviously don’t have much experience with reading). Why did I read it? Well, I read the first third. Plenty to give it a fair chance. After that much, it was so bad that I scrolled to the very last paragraph, observed that it was entirely forced and, again, poorly written, then scrolled to the comments, saw some idiot posted four times in a row, and that his comments were idiotically defending a poorly written story, and decided to post pointing out how bad his arguments were.

  115. Will said, on July 7, 2010 at 12:00 am

    Am I reading this wrong?
    5 total
    1 ripped apart by the other subjects
    4 remaining alive
    1 bled out and died
    3 remaining alive
    1 died when eyes shut
    2 remaining alive
    1 without vocals is fixed
    2 actually remain (including the one fixed) but it says 2 others (which would total 3 alive) are operated on
    Then 3 are restrained back in the chamber
    There should only be 2 survivors prior to being returned to the chamber, 1 with vocal chords, 1 without.

  116. Dan said, on July 11, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    Sir, i would like to state i am in fact 16, not twelve. I posted four times in a row because i am a very opionated dude. WoW is a pointless and dumb game and i would much rather longboard around my redneck town.

    I have actually read several series of books, including the Dragonlance Chronicles, and Legends, every Harry Potter Book, and many others.

    Now i will state once more kind sir, that the story was good to me as i am still young enough to have an imagination. You on the other hand, obviously dont have that.

    I have learned not to let statements like your insult me to the point were I am cusing you out over the internet. I stated my opinions, and that is what they are to me and should be to you; opinions.

    Heres a good quote to remember. “Arguing over the internet is like running the Special Olympics. Even if you win, your still retarded.”

    Everything i said was an opinion, as i am a VERY opionated young man and like to see how many people try to put me down.

    I thank you for trying to be a douche and put me in a nerd rage, but failing ultimately in like you probably did in your childhood.


    P.S. I did try ripping out my intestines. Was a lot of fun! XD

  117. ecnerwal said, on July 30, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    there is a design flaw in the story… the story happened in 1940… okay, then there is an ex-KGB Officer but the KGB was established in 1954… at this point I knew the story is false ๐Ÿ˜€

  118. rasta said, on August 13, 2010 at 10:17 am

    i kinda want to no what that gass was. the basis behind it or if its associated with any drug out now

  119. ge said, on August 25, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    For all of you assholes out there that are saying this story sucks stop being jelous. the point of writing is to make something the public enjoy reading. a lot of people liked this enough to read all the way through it so by definition its a good story. so for everyone whose trying act all smart saying this story is “not very deep”, “just a bunch of gore” or the one i really dont get “the horrible grammer stuck out more than any message” grow up.

  120. Lucia said, on October 11, 2010 at 6:30 pm

    wait i dont get it at one point theres to test subjects left and then all of a sudden theres three? what happened there?

  121. Huh? said, on November 1, 2010 at 3:05 am

    It had an H.P Lovecraft vibe going for it but, as many other have said, it just wasn’t executed well.

  122. o.o said, on November 1, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    the ending ruined it; so fucking cliche and dorky

  123. CJ said, on December 2, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    I checked this out because I’ve heard a lot of praise for it. I thought it would be some great, suspenseful, thrilling little story, but I was wrong. This is just poorly written, contrived, and completely dissapointing.


  124. Colleen said, on December 26, 2010 at 12:50 am

    i want to know the author. that seriously scared me. i haven’t been frightened by a story in a very long time, but that did it. the story was brilliant; it had suspense, a deeper message, psychological insight, i LOVED it.

  125. Drew said, on January 13, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    It would be interesting to see what happened to the nerves. The mute guy seemed unresponsive to pain, or liked it. And the other two laughing? It must be something within the brain or spinal chord. And ripping their skin off must be related to that. I assume they now like pain but why? This was so interesting

  126. szonja said, on February 5, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    somehow reminds me of an experiment a crazy doctor made on monkeys. but its rather sad. that one. :/

  127. Somebody with a comment said, on February 23, 2011 at 12:59 am

    I think this was really good. I dont get how people didn’t like it, I mean sure it didn’t have that much detail or anything, and sure, the ending was a little off, but I’ve read this more than a couple times just because I think it’s awesome. If I ever have the chance to tell a scary story, this would be it, hands down.

  128. somethingupmynose said, on March 2, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    A friend put this on his facebook, which is the only reason I read. I despise reading/watching anything horror related but this was awesome. It definitely spooked me. If I had read it before going to bed, I’d probably’d have a nightmare.

  129. Random Citizen said, on March 5, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    So many troll comments… so little time. Generally I enjoyed the read. It was captivating to me. Every individual has a different genre of story telling they’re more inclined to read (as many can see just by looking at the ratio of people who read assigned books for school to those who don’t).

    I can see where it was forced and I can see where the math of the number of prisoners don’t add up.. however the story as a whole was still a rather good read for myself.

    For Dan who mentioned how WoW players can’t possibly have an imagination however, I take offense. I play WoW, write short stories and draw pictures from my imagination. I play other games too… so lets not throw all game players into the pool of retards now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  130. nicole said, on March 7, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    This is a horribly written story! I couldn’t even get through this…so stupid and poorly written it’s not even the least bit compelling

  131. Bosshogg said, on March 8, 2011 at 5:53 am

    what was that?! i mean seriously! i just wasted 10 whole minutes of my life reading this drivel. It was a good idea though.

  132. Matt said, on March 20, 2011 at 12:42 am

    This story will keep me up all night, maybe more…
    Nah, great story!

  133. Soz said, on March 25, 2011 at 3:08 am

    that was a wicked read..

  134. PenisFace said, on March 29, 2011 at 11:39 pm

    Right. Well, let me start by saying that if you believe this was an actual experiment, you’re an idiot. If you bothered to check where this was posted (a blog) and the surplus of grammatical and factual errors you would quickly realize this was a piece of fiction. Anyways, I found this short-story to be rather unsatisfying. As wormcat had said regarding the end “but then the last survivor ended up just blurting some meaningless, pseudo-profound prosey bullshit.” Realisitcally, no one cares about the author’s perception of the human state. It’s a fairly well written story up until the cliched ending.

  135. diabolique said, on March 30, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    This story actually gave me nightmares.

  136. Cfost said, on April 10, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    There is absolutely no way that the subjects would be alive after ripping themselves open.

  137. Ya No said, on May 16, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    This is pathetic. Violence and gore simply for the sake of violence and gore. An extremely cheesy and poorly written short story that is most likely the work of a fifteen year old who has seen way too many movies. If you honestly thought this was good you’re an immature teenager and if you thought it was real you are beyond hope. This is an embarrassment to the horror genre, I would compare it to the movie Hostel. Basically just a series of gory scenes with no purpose other than to gross out the hopefully sensitive and unintelligent reader. Then a terrible attempt at some kind of psychological message that has no context and is presented in a corny, hollywood movie kind of way. A clear lack of imagination, originality and coherence.

  138. WideGrin said, on May 31, 2011 at 1:11 am

    Delicious copypasta. Nom nom. And inevitably, there are the asshats offering up their critiques as if this was an attempt at serious literature. C’mon folks, get a grip.

  139. nomnom said, on June 16, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    Smells like creepypasta

  140. Danniey Rose Corvan said, on June 16, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    Whoa… Just… WHOA! I really hope this is a sick joke and it didn’t really happen, because if it is real, it’s revolting! Why would the researchers leave them in there when they started screaming? Or what’s worse, put them back in when they had resorted to Cannibalism?! I don’t usually understand suicide, but with those officers, i have to sympathise… I couldn’t live with the memory o seeing that either.

  141. ThisStroySucks said, on June 27, 2011 at 2:07 am

    This was terrible. Honestly this is not a good short story in any way. I understand that the author may have written this in his spare time, but it shouldn’t hailed as such an “amazing” story. It’s awful

  142. AriAnna said, on July 16, 2011 at 4:55 am

    This article is very interesting but I believe that it is inhumane, I would like to see it conducted again but somehow , if possible , in a more humane way . But other than that they’ve done a fine job

  143. Bob Barker said, on August 5, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    Sorry but this is a bad piece of writing. Putting a ‘moral’ at the end does not make it intelligent. The grammer is horrible as well. There were many things wrong with this, please research before you try and make it look like a ‘real’ documented experiment. I understand this is not real, at all, but a short story of this kind should still be believable.
    If this is the ‘best story you’ve ever read’, then you really need to read more.

  144. M. Conte said, on August 7, 2011 at 12:01 am

    Yes, well I just learned to limit my random-article reading to a minimum while alone and sleep-deprived in a dark room. I honestly don’t care whether it’s real or not; it’s damn creepy. Kudos to the dude who just shot everyone- there was not one other way that could have ended well.

    Also, I got this straight through StumbleUpon. I think I need to re-check the things I “Like.”

  145. jen s said, on August 9, 2011 at 11:21 pm

    Yeah, not so great to read this when you are sleep deprived. Really messed me up for a bit there…thanks a lot!! Now I realize how fake and stupid this really is, but very creative even though its incredibly disturbing. Not sure if I want to go there again…

  146. Max S. said, on August 23, 2011 at 4:44 pm

    Why is everyone being so douchy about this STORY? Its a STORY. If you believed it was real, then you’re an idiot. But its still very compelling and intriguing, and deserves some better recognition, positive feedback, or at least some constructive critisism. Even then. Do something better with your time than just bag on someone who probably put a lot of time and effort into something like this. Great story. Had me hooked the whole time. Keep it up.

  147. blah said, on August 29, 2011 at 2:36 am

    Interesting story, but a little bit disturbing…until you realise this is a story. lol

  148. Grrr said, on September 11, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    I really liked the story. It kept my interest which is what I usually look for ina story. For those who like complain about it need to shut up. I highly doubt most of you could write better. Quit trying to analyze everything and just enjoy a story. There is no need to ruin it for everyone else because you don’t know what creativity is. I found it interesting and anything that can hold a persons attention past the first few lines has done a good job.

  149. Brand said, on September 11, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    If this is the best short story you have ever read, I would recommend reading more. Start with reading “The Lottery” if you like short stories.

  150. Peter said, on October 14, 2011 at 4:13 am

    Decent, clear prose. Nothing fancy, but sharp as a scalpel. Superb setup. Coulda done without the gore, but whaddaya gonna do? I’m certainly not going to throw a pretentious hissy fit about how it’s “unnecessary” and juvenile. It’s not. Grow a stomach, and it simply becomes atmospheric detail. Shit does happen. Anyway, the story was going along fine until the ending. What the heck? All that build-up for a METAPHOR? “We are the madness within you, because human are not above animals, blah blah blah.” Unless you’re Raymond Carver, don’t rely on your climax being a just a metaphor. It tends to undermine any established drama or mystery.

  151. emily_weirdnez said, on December 9, 2011 at 11:11 am

    alright, i made my bed ready. went down to take a piss. turn off the light and went back to bed. couldn’t sleep so i went back to my laptop, click stumble and i get this. read evrything til the end. at the middle of the story it got me creeped out. when i read the end of it i got bored ๐Ÿ˜

  152. James said, on December 18, 2011 at 2:25 am

    Wow, that sucked. This short story would be right at home in a high school creative fiction class. The prose is weak and sloppy, the pacing is awful and the story itself is simply garbage. The whole thing is wrapped up with a trite and brainless pseudo-philosophical ending.
    I really can’t understand why so many of you are gushing over this banal shit, I can only conclude that none of you ever READ and so you have no clue what good writing is.

  153. bigbug100 said, on January 4, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    I can’t put into words… this story is great
    also: for people who don’t know, this IS fiction

  154. amazingwaffle said, on January 11, 2012 at 12:52 am

    Alright guys, lets clear some things up:
    First: This is a fictional story.
    Second: To all people saying gas like that can’t/doesn’t exist, this is a work of fiction.
    Third: While people tearing themselves to pieces seems unrealistic, people have inflicted self injuries due to mental instability before.
    Fourth: It is impossible to verify why the prisoners were tearing themselves apart from a logical standpoint, as they were acting under the effects of drugs (example: people will jump off of buildings while on LSD because they think they can fly). What they were doing they thought was rational, even if we don’t see it as such.

  155. kaylee. said, on January 14, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    This is absolutely fabulous. It’s obvious that it is not true, but the description was great, and the concept did actually make sense to a degree.
    All of you people saying it’s dumb because it’s not true are ignorant. The idea of being able to write something like this is a good skill.
    Go ahead and say how sick I am for liking it, but I think you are just feeble minded and too caught up in society to sit and actually look at the different aspects of things that can be interpreted in different ways.

  156. Layne said, on February 7, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    The ending, even though I liked it, did kind of just explain the whole story and it wasn’t up for interpretation. However, some people who read this are too stupid to see it, so I guess it is up for interpretation. Lol.

  157. Dorky said, on April 1, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    Without sleep you die… Good story man. 4 days of not getting any sleep at all can make you cranky and also… well… it will make a mess out of you… Trust me… Thesis can do that to you… heh… I just thought that the part where they all get mutated was well, unrealistic. But then it was entertaining… I’ve been reading books too and not all the books I read are not loved by all people. Some are just plain critics but they respect the piece and some are just plain trolls who thinks they’re too good to be true. A person can’t please everybody. So If you didn’t like it, you really don’t need to curse… MOVE ON. Good day guys.

  158. Kumi said, on April 12, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    I haven’t the slightest, even REMOTEST idea what all the fuss is about. I’m been a pasta fan for quite a while now, and this is a sub-par Creepypasta if I’ve ever read one. What in the world impressed you all so much?

  159. Olive said, on May 1, 2012 at 10:52 am

    Looking up experimental short fiction and found this. The set-up pulled me in immediately, but …. but… no! The better story here are reading through all the comments and the reactions. Now that’s a lesson in characterization.

  160. nicole said, on May 5, 2012 at 12:38 am

    Sounds like a less entertaining way cut down version of the Hunger Games!

  161. Seth Ancheta said, on May 25, 2012 at 2:07 am

    Cool. This is my first time reading this.
    Yes, some plot holes, grammar errors, cliches, etc. make it unrealistic.
    But making a literary piece like this takes skill and determination.
    Think about how many sleepless nights (lol) the author had writing this.
    This is soooo getting shared.

  162. SaluteTheDead said, on May 30, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    This, I believe, is either a summary of, or copied from, a short story by JG Ballard, not a real thing. The story is called Manhole 69, and despite the title, it is a very good short story. Read the PDF online or something, and you’ll see the uncanny resemblance to this short. However, it would be extremely creepy if it were real.

  163. Nicole said, on July 15, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    LOL I thought it was real until I read the comments. I was so freaked out lmfao.

  164. goth girl said, on September 13, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    Its a government conspiracy theory

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